Close Call.

She’s at a party and she’s drunk.
Can in one hand, beer in the other.
‘The innocent one.’
Never kissed a boy before.
She’s dancing
Laughing
Singing to her friend in a cubby house
All the while
Oblivious
To how close she came.
He’s wearing a dress
(It was a themed party)
He’s kissing her
Borrows his friends keys
‘I got a girl; can I have your car?’
They go out the front
She doesn’t know what he’s thinking
‘We’re only going to kiss’
She tells her friend
The friend tells her not to go with him
She says no
A boy comes up and abuses the boy in the dress
‘He’s a creep!’
He tells the innocent girl
She doesn’t listen
Two girls come and yell at the boy in the dress
‘You stay away from her!’
‘Get off the road’
Someone says.
She is picked up and moved off the road
‘No, we’re only going to kiss.’
‘Do you seriously think that’s all he wants?’
‘I’m strong enough to fight him off’
‘No you can’t, look at the size of him
And look at the size of you.’
‘No!’
‘Listen to me!’
‘But I can’t just leave now, I’ll look stupid!’
‘Grab my hand, I’ll drag you and you can pretend to resist’
She is dragged away by her friend
‘No, stop it!
I’ll be back soon’
She tells the boy in the dress.
‘No you fucking will not’
The other nice boy tells her.
They go back to the party.
A girl walks up to the boy in the dress
‘I’m watching you’
She says.
The innocent one still doesn’t know
How close she came
To the things we hear about
And think
‘It will never happen to us.’

I have changed to using a comment box. I have been unable to comment on some of my favourite blogs and fear that others might have had the same problem with mine.
xx

Enough.

I don't know I don't know I don't know
All I've been doing is saying the same things and nothing changes, nothing ever changes.
I don't feel any different.
I drove away from her
I just keep telling my self that she deserves it she deserves it she deserves it
and she does because she never changes
I told her that she takes me for granted and that one day I won't be here for you and you'll be sorry
I don't know why I said that I was just angry
but I meant that one day she won't be able to take me for granted anymore
and I want that one day to be today
because she just doesn't appreciate me

and I yelled and yelled

and the whole time she just kept saying thankyou thankyou thankyou

and patronising me

and I could tell that she didn't give a shit

then after I left her and drove away I got scared and I just keep seeing things out of the corner of my eyes and I don't know if that's okay so I just turned the music up and wiped away the tears
stayed angry for a while

then I got home and it all started

and now I feel bad even though it's her fault

I always do

and now I'm just listening to the same song over and over
and trying to forget the things that hurt me and keep me up at night
and I'm just hoping that she won't do something that will make me hate myself
even though I tried

No one's really listening.

Loveless.

Listen.

when your time has come and gone
when your final race is won
when the flowers kiss the trees
when the king is on his knees

when your eyes don't speak the truth
and denial is your muse
when your life follows a plan,
your convenience is banned

you're loveless, it's okay you,ve planned it well
you will be happy to know that I've moved on as well

when a lion has it's teeth,
and the sword rest in it's sheath
when the liar plays the fool and the fool makes every rule

you're loveless, it's okay you're planned it well
you will be happy to know that I've moved on as well
you're loveless, it's okay you've planned it well
it's seemless, i already know you well

when you're alone with every one,
know a place to call the sun
there's a feeling in your bones,
you just might end up alone

when you're just so self assured,
now you're rotting at the core
when you're challenged by the truth,
find some friends who lie to you

you're loveless, it's okay you've planned it well
it's seemless, I already know you well.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCZhYf9hPCE&feature=related
(I couldn't post the video, but I love the song.)

It's always there.

She watches movies that melt away the glue to expose the cracks that were always there. Even when she was with him and then him, it was there, she felt it mostly at first, then supressed it, hid it away. She forgot for a while, as she realised that it wasn't what she wanted. But it came back. It always comes back. She can try to forget but she won't. She tried to write about it but that didn't make it go away either, because it's always there. And it won't go away just yet because she has to see it to believe that it can. And that's a paradox in itself, because to see it, she has to believe it. And she doesn't think that she can do that. Maybe it will never happen. Maybe she will always have this crushing feeling, that hits her all of a sudden and makes her remember.

She'd trying to figure it out but she doesn't know it yet.
She feels lonely but she doesn't feel alone yet.

Her tiny sun.

The dust fell
Like snowflakes
Caught in the rays
Of the tiny sun
Beside her bed
She could turn
The tiny sun
On and off
With a button
She stared at
Her sun until
Her eyes burned
White and she
Couldn’t see anything
Anymore but the
Sun until finally
As if she
Had pushed the
Button to turn
The sun off
The light in
Her eyes went
Out and the
Sun didn’t shine
Anymore.