I wish to create words with time, letters in spider webs like flies caught in my minds silky strands. My mind begins to disintegrate, words dancing on my eyelids as I close them, until all I can hear is the music in my ears, each beat resonating around my chaotic mind. Notebooks aching to be filled and cluttered, my thoughts thinking, waiting to be unloaded onto pages, but I am too tired, my fingers can not grip the pen, my only weapon.
I seem to fear commitment, my feelings dancing radically from one idea to another while my heart struggles to catch them, I long for clarity, the satisfaction of knowing that I know, you bring with you more confusion and I just add that to the list.
My body loses feeling, a nightmare becoming reality for a moment before being jolted back, eyes closing then opening frantically, mind overcome by something, a feeling that does not have a name, a general sensation like falling.
The darkness infiltrates my mind, back aching, I pass the need for sleep, my fingers tapping at the keys, like a pianist and I think of tomorrow. Anxiousness overcomes me, my stomach jumping, someone opens a cage of butterflies there. I agonise over that moment, never letting go or moving on, repeating in time, over, and over, and over again.