Our silence spoke volumes.

I talked to her

('I worry about you.')

and I talked to him

('I'm sorry.')

about the things that had been worrying me the most

and I told them what I was going to tell him

and they told me what I knew I wanted to hear

and I don't know whether I'm okay or not

or if it's what I wanted.

(We went driving, and barely spoke the whole way there or back. It was the longest 5km drive of my life.)

I'm glad it made you feel better.
(Even if it was a while ago)
And I hope that you're okay.
Even it doesn't sound like you are.
I'm not sure if you want me to know anymore.
Just give me a sign when you're ready.

A letter.

All I needed was to write a letter to myself,

saying that I was doing the right thing, 

 before I could start to believe it.

The feeling that won't go away.

At the moment I am wondering how more I can take.
Sometimes I wish I was like a sponge,
that could soak up emotions
so that I didn't have to feel them.

Written by me on thursday 28th January.




If I feel this bad, imagine how he feels?