Enough.

I don't know I don't know I don't know
All I've been doing is saying the same things and nothing changes, nothing ever changes.
I don't feel any different.
I drove away from her
I just keep telling my self that she deserves it she deserves it she deserves it
and she does because she never changes
I told her that she takes me for granted and that one day I won't be here for you and you'll be sorry
I don't know why I said that I was just angry
but I meant that one day she won't be able to take me for granted anymore
and I want that one day to be today
because she just doesn't appreciate me

and I yelled and yelled

and the whole time she just kept saying thankyou thankyou thankyou

and patronising me

and I could tell that she didn't give a shit

then after I left her and drove away I got scared and I just keep seeing things out of the corner of my eyes and I don't know if that's okay so I just turned the music up and wiped away the tears
stayed angry for a while

then I got home and it all started

and now I feel bad even though it's her fault

I always do

and now I'm just listening to the same song over and over
and trying to forget the things that hurt me and keep me up at night
and I'm just hoping that she won't do something that will make me hate myself
even though I tried

No one's really listening.

Loveless.

Listen.

when your time has come and gone
when your final race is won
when the flowers kiss the trees
when the king is on his knees

when your eyes don't speak the truth
and denial is your muse
when your life follows a plan,
your convenience is banned

you're loveless, it's okay you,ve planned it well
you will be happy to know that I've moved on as well

when a lion has it's teeth,
and the sword rest in it's sheath
when the liar plays the fool and the fool makes every rule

you're loveless, it's okay you're planned it well
you will be happy to know that I've moved on as well
you're loveless, it's okay you've planned it well
it's seemless, i already know you well

when you're alone with every one,
know a place to call the sun
there's a feeling in your bones,
you just might end up alone

when you're just so self assured,
now you're rotting at the core
when you're challenged by the truth,
find some friends who lie to you

you're loveless, it's okay you've planned it well
it's seemless, I already know you well.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCZhYf9hPCE&feature=related
(I couldn't post the video, but I love the song.)

27.7.11

I don't know what to write

I've used up all my words
writing notes while my mind
floats somewhere else
(I must try to stop it doing that)
I haven't cried today
it tried to take me over
but I fought it away
no breakdown # 10 tonight (I've lost count)
It's getting easier to be
overcome by the bad things
in each day
'How was your day?'
'Alright I guess'
'Only alright?'
'Yeah'
Luckily she's there
to take the bad things away
it's what a mum does best after all
and I love her more for being there
everyday
'I don't want you to ever feel like you
can't talk to me about something'
Don't worry, I need you to make me
happy when I am sad
The stress gets too much sometimes
I don't know what I'd do
if she wasn't there to
take it away

Dear B.

You said
'I don't believe in love anymore, or religion.
I don't believe in people.
I've lost faith in the human race.'

I'm not sure I believe in religion anymore,
and it's easy to lose faith in the human race.
But don't give up on love.
I'm not going to tell you anything cliched
like how 'there's someone for everyone'
or anything like that.
But if you stop caring so much,
then sometimes good things will find you.
I don't know how,
or if it will work
but please don't give up.
So many people love you and care
about you, can't you see?

You say you're not happy, 
but it's easy to be fooled
into thinking that you are,
because you're so good at acting.
But now that I know
it won't be easy to forget.

Love, Me.